


Unread Letters: Thus Speaks The Death Eater

by arpita



Series: The Abandoned [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, F/M, Good Severus Snape, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape Friendship, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), POV Severus Snape, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Snape truly loves Lily
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 20:02:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16374137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arpita/pseuds/arpita
Summary: Harry arrives for his sixth year in school, the much-famed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In Hogwarts Express however, while attempting to eavesdrop on Draco Malfoy, in an unsuccessful bid to find out what he's upto, Harry ends up missing the carriage on his way to school, as he is Petrified to stay behind, in a vengeful bid by Malfoy. Luckily, enough, Tonks finds him, and sends a Patronus intended for Hagrid to come pick the stranded Harry up.However, it is Severus Snape, the Potions-turned-Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor, who sees the Patronus, and visits Tonks. While the usual course of events follows in natural succession, later in the privacy of his study, Severus pens a letter to the dead Lily Potter, who he has secretly loved, for as long as he can remember, explaining why he has to be what he is.





	Unread Letters: Thus Speaks The Death Eater

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. The character of Severus Snape here is definitely a bit more romantic, and sober, as compared to the canonical Severus Snape, that the readers are usually acquainted with. But, since this is fanfiction, I have taken my liberties. 
> 
> 2\. The date mentioned herein is imagined, and hence I do not claim any accuracy herein
> 
> 2\. This is a work of fiction. Comments and criticism are heartily welcome. Feel free to provide any suggestions at all :)

12.08.1996.

Dear Lily,

It is strange how even the smallest of things remind me of you. As hard as I might try to not think of you, the stronger your memory resurfaces, like it were always there.

And it is. I cannot deny it. You, my Lily are always somewhere here, where none but I can feel your presence. 

Maybe that's why I fight the Dark Lord as hard as I can. By a very lucky chance, Dumbledore's intuitions are always right, like they were a platitude of a kind, more like universal truths, maybe. 

There are certain things Lord Voldemort doesn't have the aptitude to understand. That's why he'd only dismissed my affections for you to be something as mere as a carnal desire. Initially, I did take it as an insult to your memory, but take no offence, dear Lily, it is best he knows it as fits his intellect. 

It is this hatred for softer affections that Dumbledore recognises and understands of The Dark Lord. He intends to make a weapon out of this. I'm sure, he shall succeed, for so far, it is Voldemort's aversion to love, than my skills at Occulumency that has immunised me, from his investigative skills as a Legilimens.

Now, the reason why I'm writing this to you at this hour, while your son sleeps safely in the Hogwarts castle, protected to the best of Dumbledore's abilities. Yes, you have seen me be harsh to him, but you ought to know, that both of us, Dumbledore and I, that is, have our reasons for our respective behaviours towards Harry Potter. 

But, let me not digress here. I've been blabbering in my letter for so long. Harry arrived for his sixth year at Hogwarts today. Though of course, his arrival was delayed due to a vengeful action by one of my students, Draco Malfoy. However, Nymphadora Tonks found him, and as was usual, she sent a Patronus to Hagrid, asking him to pick Harry up. 

You might wonder, what gibberish I'm still speaking of. Had you been here, Lily, I'm hoping, you'd definitely have understood, owing to your sharp sense of perception. 

_Tonks’ Patronus has changed, Lily. Do you know what it is?_

Yes, it is a wolf. A wolf that symbolises Remus Lupin, who she's deeply in love with. 

I might have been dismissive of her. Yes, I did subject her to scorn right after seeing it. Harry only hates me more for my behaviour. Oh yes, Tonks couldn't hide her tears. 

_But I have to keep my cover, haven't I?_

I know what that poor girl feels like. Lupin considers himself as a creature of disgrace, making it harder for him to accept her affections. His endeavours to keep her away, in turn, make it unbearable for her to put up with her ever-increasing feelings. 

Tonks knows that the fact of Lupin being a werewolf is the last thing that would affect her. She, for her part doesn't care. Only, Lupin is making it difficult for her. It almost seems like she has forgotten to smile and be her usual jolly self, which in turn, counts for the fragility of her new Patronus.

But of one thing, I'm positive, Lily, her Patronus will gain strength, in due course.

_Like mine did._

My feeble little doe grew stronger, as you went farther away from me. Those feeble little silvery wisps, have a far stronger, material form that can drive scores of Dementors away. 

_**You, my Lily, can drive them away, with just a fleeting appearance.** _

I know, James Potter had you for his wife. I still remember the night when you'd come to me with a cordial invitation to your wedding ceremony. I wish I could show you my Patronus, my love. I wish, I had defied the Dark Lord right then.

But, I didn't. Maybe out of severe loathing for that unworthy husband of yours. Maybe, my own pride as a so-called sentinel of Lord Voldemort stopped me from obeying my allegiance to my love for you. 

I was speaking his language. His language of lust for superiority, which in reality is nothing but a bauble. His definition of weakness, which he considers to be defined by love and a false sense of power. 

You know, he revels in misery and death. Hatred fuels his cause. If I'm guilty anywhere, Lily, it is of submitting to his notions. But when, I saw you defy him, when I saw Dumbledore's Order rise in opposition to the universally feared Dark Lord, I felt weak. It was long before I approached Dumbledore that I'd known, that my love for you made me strong.

_And it continues to do so, Lily Evans. Persistence has always been in your nature, hasn't it?_

And persist you do, my dear. You always will. Had you been here, Tonks and I would have had someone to rely on, to confide in, and Lupin would have had someone to knock some sense in him, I daresay. With brains as dull as his, it is only by sheer luck and chance that a witch as bright and effervescent as Tonks has fallen for him. She sometimes reminds me of you, Lily, for she is as bright as you were, and possesses a resolve as strong as you had.

The times are changing again, as Dumbledore had rightly foreseen. Lord Voldemort is far more powerful than ever before, and the dangers that await us are far greater. His forces are stronger and better organised. And he trusts me to keep at the head of his forces. As time passes, he'll only grow stronger, till Dumbledore plays his aces. 

I'll do my best to keep his trust in me, my love. For that's the best way Dumbledore intends for me to conduct myself. At times I can almost feel my strength waning away, for this secret defiance of Voldemort, requires me to do terrible things, deeds that rightly befit a Death Eater, a true follower of The Dark Lord.

My pursuit might as well require me to kill Albus Dumbledore in the very near future. And, he intends it to be me, who does the deed, which The so-called Dark Lord has entrusted the Malfoy boy to do.

I know, Draco shall fail. Self-absorbed, high-handed and thoughtless he might be, that boy hasn't been raised to be a murderer. Narcissa has taken care of that. Somewhere, Lily, I feel she has her conflicts too, and it is only a sense of affection, -and a very strong one at that- that glues her to Voldemort's cause, unwillingly. 

Dumbledore says, murder taints the soul. Which is why he intends me to do the filthy task. What an irony this is, Lily, his murder by Draco Malfoy, is a despicable act, worthy of keeping him away to retain an unblemished soul, and when I kill him, I release him of the burden of life!

It is becoming onerous, my dear. Onerous. At times, I wish I'd joined you in Death, for that was the only time I could hold you in my arms. 

I'm coming soon, Lily Evans, my doe tells me. And then, I might as well be holding you in my arms for real. 

Yours. Always,  
Severus Snape.


End file.
